Old Pictures

Looking back at old pictures of my kids. I get a yearning feeling to reach into the computer keel down on my knees look into my daughter eyes and tell her "I've seen the future baby and its not all fun and games. It's a tough world out there and there so much pain. Let me hold you forever and pray you never grow." 

Motherhood is not easy. Raising a young girl and preparing her for the world is the biggest most difficult job any woman will face. Sometimes I wish I could turn back times and turn my 16 year old back to my little 7 year old who had no knowledge of pain and difficulties. 

Don't rush your kids; allow them to take their time, watch them grow slowly bc one day, they'll be grown and won't remember those moments when they called you "Mommy" and came running to you with every need/want and desire. 

I see people who are just getting started with their families and think to myself how much they have to learn. Mine are 16 and 9. Luckily I have a 9 year old and I tell you, everyday I look into his eye, his cute little face and thank God that his still little and I get to hold him in my arms. Bc the day will come where he too will drift away. 

A Mothers Desire to Withhold the Growth of Her Children. ♥♥

Our Creative Mind

Sometimes I find myself wondering does this life belong to me or am I just another peasant to the world? 

We work so hard to reach our goals and discover our place in the world then we get there and think its time to sit and relax - take it all in bc it wasn't an easy road. However, now that we've made it this far we know this is just a small piece of our lives and there's still so much to come. Lately, I've been heavily drawn to people 25-30 years older then me. I mean I've always had a coherent  relationship w/my parents and we we'd speak to each other like grown folks (although I didn't know then what I know now). I remember being like 10 years old and my father would vent to me about his marital problems. Yeah it's wasn't right.  Subjectively speaking he was robbing me from my youth. But I was a young adult at a very young age - I was equipped w/keen survival skills and a broad understanding of the world at a very young age I knew how to communicate to others and get my point across at any expense and to the best of my knowledge. Looking back now, I have no regrets and I'm glad my parents where (for lack of better words) ignorant to the world and seek support in a young pure and innocent soul. Ultimately, it matured me and provided me w/the mind set of determination. Now in my 30's I am drown to a crowd much older than me bc in them I see what I want to grow up to be. 

See we all have a vision; a skill we want to tap into, some have even been blessed w/many wonderful skills (not I lol) while others have a few basics. But the key is to see what you where called up to do - to discover your passion and pursue it. Wasn't till very recently when I discovered that in order to be successful and endeavor my goal, I'll have to adopt a mentor. Then I thought "where the hell will I find one?" I'm a complex individual and to understand me, you'll have to think deep. Nevertheless in God's grace, and unbeknown to me, I was in the right place at the right time and found her. Much older, much wiser, and filled w/a world of knowledge I yet to know anything about. Feels like opening a book into my own future. All bc I opened my mind and saw that in this world we need people such as. 

When we humble ourselves before our God, our flesh will follow the path of righteousness. For each day I am thankful for having a receptive heart and an open mind; each day I am grateful for having the strength to power up my ability to be blessed and give blessing to others; for each day, I open my heart, open my mind and not afraid. 

In order to live peace, we have to stop allowing society to tell us how to live and create our own path w/our experiences. 

Ladies Room

How often are we reminded by our love ones that the one beside us is only pulling us down? Listen..... Personally, I'm an analytical articulate woman. There isn't much about my life people can tell me that I don't already know or haven't already giving it thought. The complicity really relies on when you're in a room filled with all those who love and know you best and every single one of them is sending the same message (while not telling each other) of "you can do so much better" but no one is saying a word yet attempting to be open-minded of your very poor decision bc they love you (my family wears their heart on their shoulders). For the first time, you feel your body being filled with shame and embarrassment bc you know what they're thinking is small compared to what you already know. Then you look into your mothers eyes and see her pain and feel compelled to apologize bc as a mother yourself, you'd hate to see your daughter with a man of such little worth taking her time and taking her for granted. 

THE TWIST! 

No one in that room knows you've already mastered a plan and put together a plot bc although you may pretend to be blind is only part of the idea you're portraying. 

Woman are highly intelligent creatures - what makes us dumb (for lack of better words) is when we listen to our hearts and ignore our loudly vivid thoughts. Most woman I know are as stubborn and hardheaded as myself. We don't take short cuts and we do our own research. When a man can't do right by you no matter how many chances you give him to proof his worth, he'll never change. Yet you continue to stand by his side hoping and praying one day he will. That's your heart talking. Now if you can make the separation between realism and false hopes, you'll discover being w/him is not where you want to be. When our hearts are leading the way, we convince ourselves that we are in love; that we can't live w/out this man, we  sacrifice our dignity, our believes and begin to adapt to their ways bc we are willing to do/say anything to have just one day of complete solace w/that man. STOP! Listen to your mind - tell your heart you've already hear what it has to say and now it's time to set it aside.  When a man loves and respects you, none of those demands shall take place. And when you realize the life you've been living didn't belong to you, it'll be easy to let go and you'll be happy to spread your wings and fly away. But before you go, set a plan to fine complete closure at any expense bc if he can't make you happy now, he'll always have you wondering "what could've?" Make a mental list of the things you MUST know before letting go, check them off (we woman love making list, makes us feel accomplished) as you go and that way when you've set yourself free, you'll go in peace knowing there isn't nothing left - not a single piece of hope bc he failed every test you put him through. Oh! And don't play naive either. Be dramatic about it - be loud and put on a show. Pretend your in a movie and your the main character. Put him on blast so he knows all along you've been watching, listening while he thought he had you, you where simply setting your plot to set yourself free. 

Good Luck Ladies... 

I believe in the Power of Woman...